This is the most common question I get. A completely understandable question, too. I began my journey into sex work as a sex surrogate in 1997, offering myself as an essential component to male clients of a Chicago-area therapist on a path to healing sexual dysfunctions. I was young and curious about all things sex and this opened up my mind to the real POWER of sex.
I had no way of knowing that 10 years later, I would find myself on the other side of the planet, offering a therapy all my own to clients who existed in varying states of dysfunction. For the past 20+ years I have been studying sex with both the curiosity of a child and the voracity of a fat king, absorbing as much as I could from tantra to somatica. Throughout this period my life has taken a share of professional twists and turns, as I worked to maintain a "real job" both as an entrepreneur and in corporate, then working as a sex worker in the off hours.
At one point in the early 2000's I went to massage school, focusing on prenatal and infant massage while I studied to be a birth doula. That career was probably the shortest lived, as the hours and workload were way greater than I had ever desired, but it gave me some powerful insight. It also led me to the position I hold now, as one day after a meditation I realized I the sex work that I was doing held so many parallels to the birth work I had done in the past.
While a doula is there to provide support to the mother, I am there to support the lover. I am there to make sure they are able to experience a safe and pleasurable sexual experience. I offer spiritual, emotional, physical and informational support before, during and after the sexual experience can be varied.
So, what exactly does that mean in terms of what a sex doula can do?